Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
