Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
