He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
