so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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