Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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