i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
