Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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