They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
