HIV tests are more positive than that guy
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
