dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
