Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
