just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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