Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You smell like stripper and shame
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
