Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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