god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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