What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
