eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
