First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
