between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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