Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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