How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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