textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
