I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
