this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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