Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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