im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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