i don't like sucking hair
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
