I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
