"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
