dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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