god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
