We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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