You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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