you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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