If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
