I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
