This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
