I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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