Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My bed smells like the plague
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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