it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
