Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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