Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
