I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize