My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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