oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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