just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
