I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
