think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It was confusing and full of hummus
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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