oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
