I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
