don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
