Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize