South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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