did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
