Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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