I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize
