yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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