omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
