I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
