google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
even my farts smell like vagina
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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