I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
did i walk over a car last night?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
