"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
